I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize