This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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