I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
