Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize