There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
