i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
