he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
