If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
