Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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