I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
