As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize