Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
