i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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