after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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