the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
