But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
