I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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