I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize