Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
