Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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