Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
