those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
