am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
