I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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