didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
