He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
