Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
only if we run a train.
done.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
