so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have aggressive nipples.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
