I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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