The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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