So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
