cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
