I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
