so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
