grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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