so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
