So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
