I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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