your room smells of hookers.
And success
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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