We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
