I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
