You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
