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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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