I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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