Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize