whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Enjoy the penises
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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