come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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