We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
