Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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