she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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