Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
