Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
