They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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