Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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