she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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