i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
