i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
