At least make sure they are 18
Why
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
