Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
