I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
