There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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