Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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