he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
