do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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