I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
