yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
