i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
