We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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