so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
