My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
