You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
