He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
