if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
