Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she told me i tasted like america
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
