Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
